29 August 2016 • 9:00am By Anonymous at The Telegraph

I’d just come out a long relationship when I met someone new. Max* was in his late twenties, like me, and we’d both recently moved to London. He seemed really nice to start with – he was very social and we got on well. The first time he invited me to his place, he cooked an amazing meal with an incredible level of attention to detail. He seemed perfect.

We decided to move in together, initially as friends, soon after we met. Our flat had two bedrooms, but after a while, we were sharing the same room. Max didn’t want anyone to know that we had any form of an intimate relationship. I didn’t understand, but I agreed. It was only later when he became mentally and physically abusive that I saw what a big mistake that had been.

The mental abuse happened very soon after we moved in together. People always ask, ‘how bad was the violence?’ But that’s really not what gets you. It’s the way they dismantle absolutely everything about you to the point where you don’t know anything about yourself anymore. By the end, the only validation I wanted was from this person who would constantly criticise me.

It could be subtle stuff from not liking my cardigan or related to my work, which I loved. It got to the point where I didn’t trust my own judgement anymore. At one point, he even tried to reject a job interview on my behalf…. read more here