The New Democrat Socialist Debt Card Set To Be Issued

January 14, 2019/in Commentary, Political Satire /by Dr. Rich Swier

Democrat Socialists have partnered with a major bank to issue a new line of “debt cards” (no pun intended). According to anonymous CNN sources there are two draft designs being considered, the Democrat Socialist Member Card (DSMC):

And the MarxistCard:

Both cards are being shown to focus groups of Democrat Socialist Party members in New York City, NY and Berkeley, CA. The debt card receiving the most votes (like Hillary) will be declared the winner (unlike Hillary).

The first card will be issued to the “girl from Brooklyn” Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to recognize her as the first Democrat Socialist elected to the Congress of the former United States of America.

To qualify for this debt card one must become a card carrying member (no pun intended) of the Democrat Socialist Party (formerly know as the I’m With Bernie Party). The new card has no limits on spending and card holders are not responsible to pay off their debt.

Once a MarxistCard is issued the Democrat Socialist in the former United States of America may begin buying whatever their hearts desire. The accumulated debt will be paid by those who are not MarxistCard holders and the 1%.

The MarxistCard cannot be used to purchase the following items:

  1. Any fire arm.
  2. A Bible or Torah.
  3. An American flag.
  4. A Trump 2020 hat, shirt, bumper sticker or yard sign.

The MarxistCard can be used to purchase the following items:

  1. Armed guards.
  2. A Quran, Mein Kampf (English or German versions), The Communist Manifesto and Rules for Radicals.
  3. The flag of any nation but the United States
  4. A Hillary 2020 hat, shirt, bumper sticker or yard sign.

The card is accepted in most retail and wholesale outlets that support Democrat Socialist ideals, which include Amazon, Apple, Target, Dick’s Sports and any store carrying goods made in China. MarxistCard holders will receive major discounts for tickets to Hollywood films such as “Vice” and “RGB”, the Broadway play “Hamilton”, plus all documentaries by Michael Moore and Al Gore.

The MarxistCard cannot be used at Chick-fil-A.

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by originally appeared in Pravda USA (a.k.a. TNYT).