The Moon Pie Scandal – Trump is Through!

It all began, as most great discoveries do, with an inauspicious trifle. I got an email from a comrade coworker which simply asked…

1917 is

A. the year of the Russian Revolution(s).

B. the year Moon Pies were invented.

C. Both A and B

D. Neither A nor B

I was curious, of course, so I looked up the day the Moon Pie was invented, and there it was in a thunderflash of revelation: April 29, 1917, a date which will live in infamy, if I may coin a phrase.

What’s the big deal, you ask? Look again at that date. It puts the Moon Pie just after the Kerensky provisional government and before the Bolshevik coup of 1917. Now to you, that may appear as mere, unrelated coincidence, but to a trained investigative historian like myself, I see cause and effect where others fail to pick up the thread. It comes down to this: no Moon Pie, no October Revolution. But there’s more. The significant events arranged in order show such absolute complicity between Trump and Putin so clearly and so simply that not even the most ardent Trump supporter capable of thought or able to read can refute it. Read on…

February Revolution → Kerensky government → ***MOON PIE INVENTED*** → Bolshevik coup → NKVD → KGB → Putin → ***TRUMP IS ELECTED PRESIDENT***

The realization was stunning. I was gobsmacked. It was Pearl Harbor, 9-11, Kristallnacht, the Cuban Missile Crisis, yesterday’s power outage that made my computer restart, and yes, even Watergate!

A chain, we all know, is no stronger than its weakest link. Take out the Moon Pie, and everything after it ceases to happen. So, no Moon Pie, no Trump. It was Moon Pies all along! At last the smoking gun we all knew was there. There’s no more need to search under your bed for a Russian colluder. The Moon Pie has more Russian fingerprints on it that the real moon has American flags.

Want more proof? Did you know that Trump recently displayed Moon Pies in the White House as a payback to his Russian hacker pals? How dare he flaunt the obvious connection right in our faces!? But how like Trump who in his arrogance is going to make the golden pheasant the new national bird.

But now it’s out there for all to see. The evidence is undeniable, and Mueller has only to stoop to pick it up and begin the impeachment and annulment of Trump’s presidency.

It’s over for #45.