Community. We are part of a collective of people, not individuals. We are not smart enough to make decisions for ourselves or determine what is best for us. Only with a benevolent government official overseeing our daily lives can we achieve happiness, and only a benevolent government can set the standards of happy.

Prosperity. We need to pull together under the benevolent yoke of our leaders in the same Progressive direction to the perfect society in which nobody is poor, which means everyone is rich. Only government can produce prosperity, so the more government we have, the greater the prosperity will be. We need political advisers installed at every level of production to insure that everyone is contributing their fair share of effort and receiving their fair share of prosperity. Only a benevolent government can determine what is a fair share of prosperity.

Safety. Hardly a day goes by without some example of a horrendous crime involving a firearm in this country. In much the same way that individuals are not capable of making decisions for themselves, individuals are also not responsible enough to possess a firearm. The mere possession of a firearm leads to an immediate psychotic break and results in mass shootings. Only the benevolent government should have access to firearms, as only the benevolent government can decide whether or not the use of a firearm is warranted.

Security. We live in a dangerous world and there are a lot of people who hate this country. We agree that most of the problems in the world have been caused by the nationalist policies of the United States. The best way to insure national security is to eliminate the differences between the United States and the rest of the world. We must throw open our borders and welcome new citizens and new ideas from around the globe. We must reduce our greedy levels of consumption and establish a standard of living on par with the global median. And we must apologize for the wrongs we have done by dismantling the military-industrial complex that has caused so much envy, retaining a force sufficient only to insure the continuance of the benevolent government that manages our sure-to-be-improving relations with the global community.

Stability. This has been a contentious political season. We have seen protests turn violent and political rallies disrupted by howling mobs. But why have these things happened? Because we allow them to. Envision a nation with but a single political party, a single political purpose. Imagine the Progress we could make if the wrong-headed and wrong-hearted were excised from the body politic and put to wholesome labor on behalf of the community. With the correct benevolent government in charge, there will be no need for these expensive, divisive political contests in the future. We thus call for the creation of the single-party state.

This article is republished with permission from our friend Oleg Atbashian at The People’s Cube.

– See more at: http://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog/all-comrades-submit-testimony-to-the-democratic-platform-t18022.html#sthash.Oxx0zAH9.dpuf