Red Square
6/14/2020, 6:56 pm

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The FBI Joint Terrorism Task Force investigating recent riots has confirmed the capture of a long-sought suspect who they believe is the instigator and spiritual leader of the nationwide operation.

Ernesto Guevara, better known under the nickname “Che” has been captured hiding in a safe house in downtown Minneapolis. His identity was immediately established by comparing his face to one of the Che Guevara T-shirts that lay scattered around the house.

A search of the safe house revealed a makeshift factory for making Molotov cocktails, and a silk screen press in the basement, where thousands of freshly made Che Guevara shirts lay sorted by style, color, and sizes.

The FBI agents took the shirts and the Molotov cocktails with all the ingredients to a field outside the city limits, where they could be safely piled up together and set on fire. The ensuing explosion sent hundreds of shirts flying into the air like a swarm of multi-colored propaganda leaflets.

Some of the charred Che Guevara shirts have reportedly made their way to eBay and immediately sold for outrageous sums of money to college students who believed it would make them look like mysterious rebels who would murder parents to save children.

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Cradle to Grave Marxist
6/14/2020, 7:59 pm

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I wonder, which capitalist will make the most money by selling Che shirts to CHAZ?

This article is republished with permission from our friend Oleg Atbashian at The People’s Cube