Run, forest, run!

Hillary Clinton, who was desperately pushing a “free college education” pledge to win votes from the young and simple-minded, got her own college education Monday for the low, low cost of only $1.2 billion in campaign spending. Because Monday was when the members of the electoral college finally voted to officially make Donald Trump the winner of the 2016 Presidential election.

While Hillary still has ongoing grudges (and perhaps assassination contracts) against Vladimir Putin, Anthony Weiner, and schizophrenic FBI director James Comey for her loss on November 8th, the former first lady is blaming one and only one person for her massive electoral college loss: former actress (and recognizable human) Loretta Swit…

At the plastic surgeon’s she went full retread. You should NEVER go full retread.

Swit was one of a handful of alleged celebrities who appeared in a last-gasp ad which encouraged electoral college voters to cast their ballots for somone – anyone – other than the man who actually won the Presidential election.  Clearly, no minds were changed…although we imagine the electors will continue to have screaming nightmares for the rest of their lives.

And so, Hope n’ Change is emitting a small (but cautious) sigh of relief as it appears that the election results will really stick, and Hillary will be forced to spend the rest of her days out in that poplar forest foraging for grubs, berries, and nonexistent Foundation donors while muttering obscenities in the snow.

As Tiny Tim would say, “God bless us, every one!”

This article is republished with permission from our friend Stilton Jarlsberg at Hope n’Change