One of my pet theories is that children reveal the true nature of man.  They have the same emotions as adults; they’re just terrible at hiding them.  Even when their emotions are monstrous, kids either just blurt out whatever they’re thinking, or bend the truth so blatantly that you know exactly what they have in mind.

A classic case: A kid does something bad.  He gets caught.  He wants to avoid punishment.  So what does he say?  “I’ll never ever ever do it again.”  Kids pass out this extreme promise like candy, even when the compliance cost would be astronomical.  The kid will “Never complain again”?  “Never get mad again”?  “Never ask for anything ever again”?  I’ve heard all these promises, and more.

Kids say stuff that sounds good to avoid negative consequences.  In other words, they’re acting just like adults.

What’s going on?  The charitable theory is that at the moment they’re speaking, the kids are sincere.  Why don’t they keep their promises?  Self-control problems; though they want to stay good, it’s just too hard in practice.  But the charitable theory conflicts with two ugly facts.

First, kids casually leap to their extreme promises when they sense they’re in danger of punishment.  They’re not forming a long-run plan to be better kids; they implementing a short-run plan to get off the hook.

Second, once the danger of punishment recedes, the kids don’t struggle, then fail, to live up to their promises.  Instead, they forget their promises as casually as they made them

But don’t kids often plead lack of self-control?  Sure: “I just couldn’t help myself.”  But the real story isn’t … read more here