Friday, December 2, 2016

Bar Exam

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, fox news, bars, restaurants, rolling stone

In an unintentionally hilarious interview with Rolling Stone ragazine (spelling intentional), Barack Obama asserted that the reason Democrats got pulverized in the recent election is because “Fox News (is playing) in every bar and restaurant in big chunks of the country.”

While demonstrably not true, Hope n’ Change doesn’t doubt that the insufferable dimwit-in-chief actually believes his fantasy because it protects him from taking personal responsibility for an historic electoral trouncing.

In Barry’s mind, overstuffed white people would sit silent and transfixed at the local Cracker Barrel restaurant, sucking syrup out of their pancakes rather than chewing noisily, all the better to hear the Right Reverend Sean Hannity accuse Hillary Clinton of being a Martian.  Or perhaps he imagines eerily quiet Happy Hours during which patrons sat on bar stools in hypnotic trances while the gospel of hate was preached by Bret Baier, Britt Hume, and other bomb-throwing radical conservatives.

Barry did concede that the Democrat party had a problem with messenging and getting the word out to voters – but we have to disagree. We think their message came through loud and clear: that under Obama, what used to be a part-time job is now considered a career. That a stagnant economy which benefits only the rich and well-connected is the new norm. That laws are only for little people to obey.

We got the message that the Left considers ordinary Americans (also called “a basket of Deplorables”) to be racists, misogynists, xenophobes, homophobes, ignoramuses, gun nuts, religious fanatics, and potential terrorists.

We got the message that a boy who believes he’s a girl has more rights than all of the actual girls in a school shower. We got the message that inner city schools should never be improved, and that loans for uselessly self-indulgent college degrees need never be paid back.

We got the message that there is no gestational time limit on killing the unborn, up to and including the moment of birth. We got the message that illegal aliens have a “right” to jobs and benefits that legal citizens lack. And we got the message that as bad as things were under Obama, they were about to get a whole lot worse under Hillary.

And then we voted.

Which is why Barack Obama’s actual legacy may only turn out to be a few soon-forgotten interviews in yellowing issues of Rolling Stone.

BONUS: DECEMBER ALREADY?!

Lots of you may be putting up Christmas decorations this weekend, which is why we’re giving you a FREE no-strings-attached downloadable album of relaxing instrumental Christmas music!

Not available in stores. Trust us on this one.

It’s the “Manhole Steamrising Complete Christmas Collection,” consisting of 15 soothing tracks of Christmas favorites, two of which are “Adeste Fidelis” and are done (as Basil Fawlty would say on gourmet night) “in two extremely different ways.”

It’s all perfectly legal, and you’re free to share the music and/or the link with as many people as you like. In fact, we encourage you to share! Please! Tis the season! Just click this link to get your download started.

You’ll end up with a ZIP file which, when double-clicked, will open up into a folder with your 15 songs in MP3 format. No spam, no viruses, no hassles whatsoever. Although if you downloaded the album when we offered it last year, you may experience some holiday deja vu while listening.

If you’d like to sample the music (or just enjoy it without downloading), we’ve also put the album on Youtube. Just click below to play!

 

This article is republished with permission from our friend Stilton Jarlsberg at Hope n’Change