Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Per an idea from our good friends over at The Daily Gouge (who will be using a version of this cartoon today), here’s Hillary’s version of her debates with Trump as described in her upcoming compendium of lies, “What Happened.”

She claims “he was literally breathing down my neck” (he wasn’t), her “skin crawled,” and she wanted to shout “Back up, you creep! Get away from me!” A line which had previously allowed her to dodge all male advances except, apparently, those made by Webb Hubbell.

Also in the news, the oxymoronic “peace armies” of Antifa raised more Hell in Berkeley to make sure “free speech” couldn’t break out…

Hey, YOUR signs lie, OUR signs lie.

The image above should cranch the butthole of anyone who’s ever read “1984.” Shields emblazoned with “No Hate” and cartoon animals, carried by masked, armed thugs who’ve come to beat the crap out of anyone they don’t agree with (while the police stand back with a nod and a wink to “give them space” to do their genuinely fascist thing).

At some point, a citizen is going to take poorly to being beaten in the streets, and is going to demonstrate to an Antifa member how the 2nd Amendment works. And unfortunately, this is exactly what Antifa and the Left are hoping for: a precious martyr. Frankly, we’re surprised that they haven’t fragged one of their own yet just to try to pin the blame on the evil Freedom of Speech lovers. And for all we know, that fallen Antifa member might wind up surrounded by 72 virgins – which is ironic because the same was true whenever he attended an average Antifa organizational meeting.

Regarding the Texas coastal cities (and soon Louisiana) coping with hurricane Harvey, we find the carnage heartbreaking but the many acts of heroism and neighborliness inspiring. We’ll be making a donation to help as soon as we sort out a good and efficient charity (hint: not The Clinton Foundation), and we hope that the rain will just stop as soon as possible.  Way up here in north Texas, we’ve only gotten some very scattered showers of no importance.

What else? It seems worth mentioning that by actually shooting a missile over Japan, North Korea’s Kim Jung Un is making a desperate plea for “death by cop” (or in this case, the World’s cop). And we’re growing more inclined to see his wish granted.

Speaking of useless blights on humanity, may we call attention to virtually everyone at the recent MTV Music Awards? Granted, this masturbatory self-celebration is always a pointless waste of time, but we can’t really forgive them for the foul song they played to the gala’s entire in-theater audience during a commercial break.

Here it is; the meat of the song kicks in at :28 and is Not Safe For Work, Not Safe For White People, Not Safe For Those With Heart Conditions, and frankly Not Safe For Those Uncomfortable with Black People Being Called Niggas (which, theoretically, makes us racists).