Air Force to allow average looking, uncool people to become fighter pilots
By Wob Weego On Feb 14, 2017 at Duffel Blog
LANGLEY AIR FORCE BASE, Va. — Due to manning cuts and years of major airliners paying higher wages for sweet abs, the U.S. Air Force Air Combat Command may begin allowing normal-looking people become fighter pilots as early as 2020, sources report.
Sources say that Air Force Chief Gen. David L. Goldfein addressed a crowd of shirtless pilots at a post volleyball match early last week, informing them that due to manning cuts in previous years, some pilots were forced to finish early and leave many units flaccid.
“Air Force Policy requires that each flying squadron maintain enough pilots to publish four consecutive 12-month calendars without seeing the same half-naked pilot more than once,” Goldfein said to the glistening aviators. “We may be forced to recruit back some talent, which we know will be difficult due to their hectic modeling schedules.”
Col. Arnold Heinz, chief of plans and programming, echoed Goldfein’s comments.
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