Earlier this month, a professor at Santa Monica College led students in an EcoSexual Sextravaganza in which participants “married the ocean.” After the ceremony, some students made their way to the shoreline, where they were urged by event organizers to “consummate” the marriage and “make love with the water,” reports Campus Reform.

We here at The People’s Cube welcome this expanded definition of marriage, which we believe opens up new horizons for legal experts and divorce lawyers, promising new government research grants and lucrative income opportunities.

While marriage to inanimate objects has long been an acceptable practice in California, the ocean presents the sum of all living and inanimate things within its waters, including all of the planet’s water itself, as well as mineral and oil deposits, sunken ships with treasure chests, plankton, large predators, and microscopic parasites.

Will this hyper-polyamorous marriage mean these human spouses will be able to claim their share of the ocean resources and sue the developers? On the other hand, can they be sued by governments and individuals for any damages resulting from storms, hurricanes, tsunamis, and shark bites? And, most importantly, will the current spouses, who file for divorce, be able to claim 50% of the other’s property as it is common in California?

The future will tell. In the meantime, let’s congratulate the happy newlyweds who recorded their wedding in this film, which we like to call Ocean’s Twenty: