(Satire from the People’s Cube)

Comrades, the Party needs your help!

You were probably also shocked by the first presidential debate last night… It was completely biased … because the Evil One was able to speak a few words in between the orchestrated personal attacks (provided by Hillary’s political correct comrade)!

We must do better next time!

I’ve come up with some ideas, but they need to be improved…
To make the next debate even more Party-approved:

1. Hillary gets a handheld “shocking” device to give painful stimuli to Trump whenever he tries to speak.

2. The part of the audience selected by the Trump team must be gagged and bound to their chairs. It is inappropriate for deplorable people to voice their opinion!

3. Trump must be naked and constantly prodded in his behind by two democrats dressed up as devils with a Lenin face mask.

4. The debate will be ONLY about Trump’s taxes. All else is irrelevant in the eyes of the Party. Immigration, crime, jobs… trifles, I say!

5. The moderator should be someone with more Party loyalty, let’s say Bill Clinton or a representative of the Saudi royal family.

6. Our beloved MTE should not be rousted out of her hospital bed campaign planning center for something as trivial as a debate with the KKKapitalist.

7. She should be allowed to e-mail in her answers to pre-approved questions.

8. Mandatory standing ovations after every remark by Comrade Hillary.

Mandatory standing ovations are an integral part of any progressive movement. No comrade should be allowed to stop clapping willy-nilly. You only stop clapping when you see a corresponding sign or a cue card from Comrade Moderator.

Revolutionary discipline must be reinforced by administering swift revolutionary justice to the detractors.

8. Mandatory booing and heckling during every remark by Trump the Deplorable.

No comrade should be allowed to abstain from booing on a whim. You only stop booing or heckling when you see a corresponding sign or a cue card from Comrade Moderator. See above.

This article is republished with permission from our friend Oleg Atbashian at The People’s Cube.