by Ed Wallace, November 15, 2022

So, the election results are in, allegedly, in some places, sort of, and the Big Red Wave that so many were predicting turned out to be just the same old crimson trickle of blood dripping from Planned Parenthood’s garbage cans.

So, I asked myself, what is worse, a stolen US election or an American electorate so insouciant and out to lunch that they would keep a political party in office that is leading us into war with Russia and China, that hates white people and persecutes them, that has politicized the FBI and Department of Justice turning them into Gestapo agencies serving Democrat power, that fervently believes that parents are bad for children and should have no say in their education (brainwashing), and that is demonizing normality and normalizing perversity? I could go on and on. So,I will.

Americans had a chance to vote against inflation, skyrocketing energy prices, failing school systems, galloping sexual deviancy, discrimination by skin color, child mutilation, child murder, unsustainable spending, critical race theory (“White people are bad and should go into shallow graves right after they give us their wealth”), collapsing infrastructure, wide open borders, the destruction of personal responsibility, and so very much more – but instead, a preponderance was convinced by celebrities to “vote Blue.

Consider also public dissatisfaction with record crime, record inflation with high food and gasoline prices, rising interest rates and falling home values, massive illegal immigration, forced indoctrination of school children with transgender theory and critical race theory, Biden’s Covid vaccination mandates that caused health injuries, deaths, and destroyed careers, Biden’s Covid lockdowns that destroyed businesses, jobs, supply chains and raised prices, Biden’s “Russian” sanctions that disrupted energy supply and raised the price of everything.  

The Cook Political Report estimated that Republicans got 51.4% of the vote for the House compared to 47% of the vote for Democrats. That 6.1% margin was greater than the 2.5% generic Republican advantage from the average of the national polls just before the election. That leaves a staggering 60.9 million registered voters that didn’t bother to show up. That begs the question: Are there enough patriots left in America that care about their freedoms and liberty. We’ll find out in 2024.

This election was a chance for voters to register their dissent, and according to the vote results they failed to do so. If the vote count is honest, then the conclusion is that we must write off the American people as beings too stupid to survive as a free people. This is why I much prefer to believe that the election was again stolen. And, as I quietly predicted, the Republicans were allowed to win ever so slightly such that they can be blamed for all of the hell that is about to be unleashed.

I’m no fan of early voting because it favors low agency voters. The main issue is ballot harvesting and no-excuse universal mail in ballots. I remember when the only way to vote early was to fill out a form and give a valid excuse for not being able to vote locally on election day. 

Republicans seem poised to win the midterm popular vote significantly. The issue wasn’t messaging, the issue was machinery. New York and Florida are the two states where the most flips happened because of favorable maps.

I never thought there would be a red wave because it required a willing suspension of disbelief that I just can’t conjure anymore. Was there anything – anything – in our culture, media, or the national moment to suggest that great masses of people would suddenly become less ignorant, selfish, debauched, and debased? Nope! And so “more of the same” was obviously what was coming and, sadly, what is coming for the foreseeable future. BIden made that clear when he said he would change “Nothing.”

Sadly, the writing was on the wall in August that there would be no Red Wave. Republicans were stopped from within by The Senate Leadership Fund, backed by Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY), when they ripped $5.6 million out of the New Hampshire Senate race, effectively sabotaging Republican Senate candidate Gen. Don Bolduc. Bolduc was virtually tied with incumbent Sen. Maggie Hassan despite being outspent by nearly $9 million. At the same time, McConnell spent about $9 million to defend pro-impeachment Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) from Trump-endorsed challenger Kelly Tshibaka, who was leading in the polls by a slim margin. The super PAC then cut about $8 million in ads from the Arizona Senate race in which GOP candidate Blake Masters was hoping to unseat incumbent Democrat Sen. Mark Kelly. 

The Republicans only needed a net gain of one Senate seat to flip the upper chamber. It should be clear by now that Mitch McConnell is an enemy of the party and is only interested in protecting the party establishment and his own power. The U.S. Senate better wise up.

Depressingly, the actual state of our nation as we headed toward Election Day was a president who can’t speak without lying and a major Democrat candidate who often can’t speak period. Which isn’t Fetterman’s fault – the man had a stroke, after all. And it’s rare to see someone who has the strength of will to immediately get back on the election trail without taking time for his brain to effing heal. It likely won’t since he’s been abusing it during the most critical window for recovery. Now, all of us are looking at a brief period of disability.

Considering all this dissatisfaction leading up to last Tuesday, how did Fetterman, a person impaired by a stroke and afflicted with problems speaking, who wants to release criminals from prison, win a seat in the US Senate from Pennsylvania? How did the same Georgia voter who returned Republican Gov. Kemp to office vote against black Republican and football star Herschel Walker in favor of black Democrat Warnock, who hates Trump and white people, for the US Senate?

And, how could Pennsylvania’s longest-serving lawmaker win a convincing victory over a radical Green Party challenger despite one of the biggest handicaps any politician could carry in an electoral contest? He died four weeks before voters went to the polls. DeLuca won almost 86% of the vote in the Keystone State’s House District 32, trouncing Green Party challenger Queonia “Zarah” Livingston’s 14.1%. Livingston’s platform of “environmental justice,” “ending the war on drugs” and “reducing gun violence” wasn’t sufficiently appealing to the voters of far-western Pennsylvania to overcome the allure of a man who shuffled off this mortal coil a month ago.

A similar situation arose in the Tennessee House District 86 where Rep. Barbara Cooper, 93, died Oct. 25, two weeks to the day before Tuesday’s election. Could it be that dead voters elected two dead politicians?

Before last Tuesday, the Democrats were concerned that Republicans continued to expand their leads in polling across the country. The leads were in danger of growing beyond the normal margin of Democrat cheating. DNC Chair Jaime Harrison, (they/them), was quoted as saying “I don’t understand why people care more about feeding their kids than they do about voting in literal mega-MAGA, far-right, Nazi, alt-right, white supremacist, Nazi, fascist-adjacent Nazis. It could be the end of democracy!” 

DNC operatives were hoping to close the gap by promising free abortions and gender-affirming care, as well as by sending tons of unsolicited emails to millions of voters begging for more money to save Nancy Pelosi’s job. They warned that if Republicans gain control of Congress, it will be the end of democracy until the next election in 2024.

That was affirmed by Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas who doubled down, promising to suppress as much speech as it takes to preserve democracy by colluding with tech companies to remove speech they disagreed with

As everyone knows, democracy is when Democrats hold unlimited power, and today that sacred foundation of our country is under attack from free speech. Democracy experts warned that democracy is under threat like never before as millions are being allowed to say whatever they want to each other without trusted fact-checkers supervising their every word. Said experts are recommending greater powers be given to the DHS to address the growing threats such as speech, opinions, people saying stuff, and bad inward thoughts that poison the mind against our benevolent overlords.”Democrats love democracy!”

As of publishing time, DHS was rumored to be coordinating with Facebook to remove a meme that reminds people of how Mayorkas looks somewhat like a large pink toad.

There’s nothing worse than being a threat to democracy. It’s the greatest of all sins. To ensure you aren’t a threat to democracy, keep an eye out for these troubling signs: You constantly correct people and tell them we’re a constitutional republic, not a democracy. That’s definitely a threat to democracy. You question the results of elections when Democrats win. Finally, how dare you only wear ten masks in public and only get 10 COVID boosters? You’re gonna kill everybody!

Part of living in the modern, technologically sophisticated world is understanding that counting ballots takes longer in 2022 than it did in 1951. And sometimes, when entire counties forget to bring enough ballots, they pass out handy little “I Tried To Vote, But They Ran Out Of Ballots, And Someone Said They’d Call Me Later” stickers.” Frustrated Arizonans that were told they could vote later could be contacted via carrier pigeon.

Election officials looked to ensure that the 2022 election cycle was not a repeat of the chaotic 2020 election and are clearly working as hard as they can but this is going to take some time to ensure the candidate that they want to win wins. Some officials are promising to have the final results just in time for everyone to vote again in two years.

So they ran out of ballots, big deal. At least they aren’t a threat to democracy like those radical extremists who baselessly claim that Maricopa County can’t run an election. At least they thought all tabulations would happen “Barbara-Walters-Style,” a method referring to the 2020 elections where Democrats just unveiled the results on TV and arrested anyone who asks questions.

One of the problems might be that they are using Common Core math to ensure the right candidate for governor wins. The official number they end up with may have to be different than the certified election results just because they’re working so hard to ensure democracy.

Everyone knows that accuracy is “racist” when it comes to election math. The fact that you have different people getting different vote totals is how you know the process is working. How else are they expected to trust the results if we can’t fudge the numbers? 

The 2022 election will forever change how candidates are chosen and campaigns run. It used to be that politicians must be very good public speakers. After all, most of their job is talking. They must seem to be intelligent, able to answer questions, and inspire confidence in voters that they are responsible representatives of ‘We The People’ and their will. 

The parties only looked for candidates that are ‘the complete package.’ :Sound in their thinking and outlook but – just as important – able to speak well and convince others. So we always thought. At least that was how things used to be. So let’s not even pretend the quality of the candidate or even being alive or functioning truly matters.

After the election last week of John Fetterman, a recent stroke victim who has trouble forming complete sentences or understanding questions put to him, both parties are taking note of a new trend: “the imbecilic candidate.”

This appears to be a new thing. If so, it started with Joe Biden, who is a trendsetter. The inarticulate mumbling, the made-up words, the odd staring off into space for minutes at a time – he is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’ll get. I guess voters like that now. Hate America and have a stroke… you could be president some day.

Folks just pulled the lever for whoever had the right letter next to their name without even bothering to look into their qualifications or anything. But, after Biden and now Fetterman get elected, you can’t escape the fact they look absurd anytime their handlers allow them out in public. People can’t possibly be ignorant about these guys. I’m convinced it must be what modern voters really want – elected officials that sound like half-wits. 

I guess Thomas Jefferson was right after all. ‘The government you elect is the government you deserve.’ The parties hear you, voters. You just wait until the next election – they’ll have some real qualified nincompoops that will knock your socks off. 

Finally, what am I supposed to watch during the commercial breaks of ‘Survivor’ every Wednesday? Geico ads?! Endless Medicare commercials telling me to “get what you deserve”? Come on! Now we’re left to pick up the pieces and go on about our daily lives without the aid of a continual barrage of attack ads and political candidates making empty promises during every commercial break. I find myself longing to hear “I”m Evan MCMIllanand and I approved this message,”  Not seeing 72 commercials every hour just leaves me feeling empty.

The voters have proven themselves to be morons. None of this was a great shock. And no, Trump can’t change the equation no matter where he grabs it. Instead, I’m thinking our nation (and quite a few others) is overdue for the Sodom and Gomorrah treatment. Mike Lindell should stop doing commercials about “My Pillow” and instead start evangelizing about the benefits of “My Pillar” and citizen-shaped stacks of salt, while Boston’s “Don’t Look Back” blasts from stadium speakers. Bring it on!