Monday 20 June 2016 by Neil Tollfree at News Thump

A new poll has revealed that over 50% of the lemming population favour jumping off the cliff to an almost certain messy and agonising death.

“The poll results are fascinating,” said lemming pollster Simon Williams.

“Lemmings have a happy, comfortable, enjoyable life on top of the cliff and yet many of them believe that a suicidal jump onto the jagged rocks below would give them a better quality of life.”

A senior lemming figure from the ‘Vote Jump’ campaign group explained.

“Some lemmings say that a huge drop onto jagged rocks would be fatal, but the fact is that no lemming really knows what would happen if we all jumped onto a bunch of jagged rocks; we could bounce, the rocks could disappear, or we could strike up a robust trading deal with the rocks.read more here