Hammer and Loupe

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MECCA, SAUDI ARABIA – A joint US-Saudi Arabia press conference was held outside the Kaaba late Tuesday night for King Salman and U.S. President Barack Hussein Obama, in which they summed up their negotiations that ended in a friendly agreement and a mutually beneficial citizen exchange program.

Noting the many hours of “robust” negotiations, King Salman addressed the American people directly: “First, you’ll never find out what’s in the 28 redacted pages of the 911 Commission Report, and we promise not to dump $750 billion US Treasury notes.”

He then stunned reporters with a bold proposal, noting his kingdom’s chronic shortage of foreign slaves available “for hire” as domestic help.

“We have asked President Obama, and he has graciously agreed, to send us your entire stock of Republican voters and their families, starting with Trump supporters. In exchange, you will receive an equal amount of Saudi Arabians and residents of our neighboring Muslim countries, shipped to you live and unharmed, to replenish your dwindling and unenthusiastic Democrat voter base.”

President Obama, himself progeny of Arab-Muslim slave traders, seemed unable to contain his enthusiasm and was overheard to say from the floor, “This is consistent with our values. This is who we are.”

Presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton, in a video interview via SKYPE, applauded the measure. “This swap could not have happened at a more appropriate time in history,” she quipped. “Frankly, the whole Benghazi thing was beginning to get a little taxing.”

White House Press Secretary Josh Ernest could not attend the Mecca press conference because of his current non-Muslim status and therefore was unavailable for comment.


– See more at: http://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog/saudi-arabian-king-supports-return-of-slavery-t17879.html#sthash.jeXiACgC.dpuf

This article is republished with permission from our friend Oleg Atbashian at The People’s Cube.