Comrades,

The COP21 meetings have finished their work in Paris, and there has been a great deal of celebrating! 195 nations have finally come to an historic agreement to destroy Capitalism save the Earth.

Dear Leader went on the Telescreen just a few hours ago with this great news, announcing that it will finally destroy Amerika’s economy create jobs and kill off billions of poor people who can’t afford expensive “green” energy lift the entire world out of poverty as the final transformation of America from Capitalism to Socialism takes place, starting next Tuesday.

Among the Agreement’s provisions are:

Every country is on its own to pledge to do…

something

… to reduce carbon dioxide emissions. Since no one has to actually

do

anything to achieve it — they only have to

pledge

to “do something” fifty years from now — that gets rid of all of that pesky slavery to actual numbers.

Speaking of numbers, the agreed-upon goal is to keep Global Warming from increasing more than 2 degrees Celsius — a number that was literally pulled out of someone’s ass.

Every country agrees to keep meeting

at taxpayer expense

in an expensive, exotic

luxury resort

location adequate for conducting the People’s business, every five years, to

make excuses for not meeting the goals

report on their progress at meeting the emissions targets.

Any country can opt out of this Agreement starting three years from now, with a one-year notice to the world’s Supreme Council. Of course, no country would ever dare to do such a thing, as it would bring worldwide shame upon that nation’s head, and invite

an invasion

a takeover by UN forces to keep it in compliance.

In his historic speech tonight, Dear Leader (PBUH) crowed demonstrated His leadership with His recent measures to destroy the coal industry in the USSA.

Now instead of the horrors of The Day After Tomorrow, we can look forward to The Glorious World of Next Tuesday.

We will have to keep our celebrating brief, as there is much extra work needed in the beet fields to meet our Five Year Plan.

Mikhail Lysenkomann

Comrades,

The COP21 meetings have finished their work in Paris, and there has been a great deal of celebrating! 195 nations have finally come to an historic agreement to destroy Capitalism save the Earth.

Dear Leader went on the Telescreen just a few hours ago with this great news, announcing that it will finally destroy Amerika’s economy create jobs and kill off billions of poor people who can’t afford expensive “green” energy lift the entire world out of poverty as the final transformation of America from Capitalism to Socialism takes place, starting next Tuesday.

Among the Agreement’s provisions are:

Every country is on its own to pledge to do…

something

… to reduce carbon dioxide emissions. Since no one has to actually

do

anything to achieve it — they only have to

pledge

to “do something” — that gets rid of all of that pesky slavery to actual numbers.

Speaking of numbers, the agreed-upon goal is to keep Global Warming from increasing more than 2 degrees Celsius — a number that was literally pulled out of someone’s ass.

Every country agrees to keep meeting

at taxpayer expense

in an expensive, exotic

luxury resort

location adequate for conducting the People’s business, every five years, to

make excuses for not meeting the goals

report on their progress at meeting the emissions targets.

Any country can opt out of this Agreement starting three years from now, with a one-year notice to the world’s Supreme Council. Of course, no country would ever dare to do such a thing, as it would bring worldwide shame upon that nation’s head, and invite

an invasion

a takeover by UN forces to keep it in compliance.

In his historic speech tonight, Dear Leader (PBUH) crowed demonstrated His leadership with His recent measures to destroy the coal industry in the USSA.

Now instead of the horrors of The Day After Tomorrow, we can look forward to The Glorious World of Next Tuesday.

We will have to keep our celebrating brief, as there is much extra work needed in the beet fields to meet our Five Year Plan.
Comrade Lysenkomann, as we both know, Dear Leader (PBUH) constantly stresses there is no justification for any capitalist undertaking in the USSA. He understands that all of our necessities of life will be paid for by our work alone. And for this, we can all go back to the fields, the mines, and shout from our bullhorns….”Incompetent Strategic thinkers are a communists best friend”. The best way to destroy capitalism once and for all is to destroy the very fabric by which capitalism thrives.

FORWARD!!!

Red Walrus

The best way to destroy capitalism once and for all is to destroy the very fabric by which capitalism thrives.

Da, Comrade. And that fabric is: energy. And natural resources.

The quickest way to destroy any economik system is to deny it access to its own energy, and its own resources.

According to what I was told — and I always believe what I am told — Dear Leader has committed us to eliminating ALL greenhouse emissions by the end of the century. And oh, I believe, yes I do, I do believe, that he will be here until then in order to keep us to our promise.

This of course means that we must all stop exhaling carbon dioxide by the end of the century. Or perhaps some will be required to stop exhaling CO2 right now — especially (ptui) deniers, rethuglikkkans, Christians, Zionists, racists, sexists, homophobes, Islamophobes, phobiaphobes, and all other Enemies of the State. Oh, what a joyous Next Tuesday we will have!

Red Diaperette said:

Quote:

perhaps some will be required to stop exhaling CO2 right now — especially (ptui) deniers, rethuglikkkans, Christians, Zionists, racists, sexists, homophobes, Islamophobes, phobiaphobes, and all other Enemies of the State.I would add: Arkansas Hillbilly Rapists

RedDiaperette

According to what I was told — and I always believe what I am told — Dear Leader has committed us to eliminating ALL greenhouse emissions by the end of the century. And oh, I believe, yes I do, I do believe, that he will be here until then in order to keep us to our promise.

This of course means that we must all stop exhaling carbon dioxide by the end of the century. Or perhaps some will be required to stop exhaling CO2 right now — especially (ptui) deniers, rethuglikkkans, Christians, Zionists, racists, sexists, homophobes, Islamophobes, phobiaphobes, and all other Enemies of the State. Oh, what a joyous Next Tuesday we will have!

Yes – and so very, very quiet.

It’s my understanding that Comrade Gore decided to set an example for everyone else by having the Mother-Earth-Friendly “GoreMobile” flown across the Atlantic to De Gaulle Airport so he could drive it to the Paris conference for the Mother-Earth-Saving Resolutions.

Here’s a video of Gore on the way in his GoreMobile, but even though it’s somewhat marred by a brief commercial for its manufacturer, GM (Gov’ment Motors, previously known as General Motors) at the beginning, it’s worth the wait through that brief commercial to learn about Gore’s exhausting efforts in keeping the GoreMobile running in a Mother-Earth-Friendly manner:

–KOOK

I propose that we have the young breathe deeply and then play loud noises and give them electroshock to have them associate punishment with breathing. Pavlov got dogs to spit when he rung a bell, so I think we can get kids to stop breathing with the same sort of techniques he used. And, if Science can give us the ability to make people in test tubes and violate the laws of nature engineer humans then maybe we can make non-breathing humans!

[OFF]

Governments lie. Loads of people know this. If you don’t you’re braindead, a celebrity, or are a hermit (but even then I’m damn close to being the third option with how sick I am of society). But every once in a while liars from the government meet with other liars from other governments and they exchange lies. And it only results in more lies force-fed to us and more conspiracies by them.