From News Thump

The House of Commons cafeteria has asked MPs if they’d mind returning the knives they currently have sticking out of their backs, as they’ve run out.

Saying there’s been ‘a bit of a rush’, catering workers are currently scouring the Houses of Parliament looking for MPs bodies from which they can retrieve their cutlery.

The cooling remains of dozens of Members of Parliament are currently draped over furniture, lying spreadeagled in corridors and slumped in neglected corners of the building, and hundreds of knives need to be retrieved before dinner time….read more here