Utah 1896 Arches 32 USA

Did Utah just Legalize Prostitution? – Legislative Speech

This Speech was suggested on the Floor of the State Legislature.

The Chair recognizes the Honorable Senator Flatulence.

                                                               Senator Flatulence.   In Support of House Bill 40 sponsored by Representative Paul Ray, Republican from Clearfield, I move to repeal criminal offenses of adultery and sodomy.  This legalizes Prostitution and brothels in our great state.  And Salt Lake City can once again add to the claim of the Greatest Snow on Earth,  the

Greetings from Nevada Las Vegas 34 USA

Las Vegas motto, that What happens in Utah Stays in Utah!  Remember the storm or controversy  when the Outdoor Retailer festival threatened to move to Denver if Utah wanted some of its mesas and mountains opened back up to its residents?  Down by Moab, with the Escalante Staircase and Bears Ears flap?  Utah was going to lose mountains of tourists to Denver. Well, stick this thumb in your eye Colorado!  

 And remember when the Alcohol beverage lobbyists warned Utah not to reduce the Drunk Driver blood alcohol level to that recommended by the National  Transportation Safety Board? Warning that Utah would lose tourists? The restaurants would lose money?   We have trumped both Colorado and the rest of the west.  Come to Utah, for year around recreation, you don’t have to wait for the powder snow to lay a base anymore.

With Burt and Dolly this much fun just couldn’t be legal.

 Move over Texas! remember the movie ‘Best Little Whore House in Texas?’  The sequel will be ‘Best Little Whore House in Utah’.  Nevada’s Prostitution is not state wide, I am told there is county option.  That is not very progressive. Utah can have chicken ranches across the street of every temple and meetinghouse in the state.

     We’ve had news of avalanches in the back country in the Wasatch range.  Very dangerous. So, if tourists have to wait until conditions are safe, they can stay in the lodges, which will soon have attached brothels.

    This presents great opportunity for Nevada style bill boards, you can see off of Interstate 15.   Opening brothels will soak up some of the excess business real estate space in Salt Lake City.     There is a price for liberty. Utah’s rate of Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Syphilis had been far below that of the nation at large, and Nevada and Colorado, states competing for tourists.   These rates will naturally rise, but it is a small price to pay for the boost in tourism.  Sort of like increased fatalities due to drunk driving, is the price to pay to keep the bottles flowing and saloons open.

Prostitution opens up more music such as Roy Orbison’s Pretty Women, and movies to follow.    The Deseret News reported (Jan 29, 2019 these changes will ‘cleanup’ the state’s code. Who knew the code needed cleanup?   The HB40  change also ‘’ makes it clear in Utah code that sex workers that are attacked or have crimes committed against them can report the crimes without fear of being prosecuted for prostitution.’’


    If you ask, who is a consenting adult? That was covered in the Bible, See Genesis 38. When Tamar was prostituted by her father in law, Judah, Tamar  asked for Judah’s pledge, of his signet, bracelets, and staff, against his probable later denial, if she became in the family way.  It worked, because when she was accused as a harlot, she  presented the pledge, and Judah had to acknowledge the baby, which became an ancestor of the Christ.

         I am pleased there are no location restrictions for brothels, as there are for  saloons.   Utah is an inclusive state, and we invite immigrants, especially illegal immigrants, who need work, they can expect work a plenty in Utah.


 Likewise, as prostitution is entwined with sexually transmitted diseases, there will be a boost in health care and treatments for the infected.  As a rising tide lifts all boats, so will we see a lift of Hepatitis, TB, and HIV, with the other STDs. Perhaps we need to open more medical schools to handle the need for more doctors and nurses. Now is the time.

         Utah has weed, Utah now has prostitution. We are a tourist’s Mecca.   And we are going to protect these ancient industries with the dignity of the State of Utah endorsement.  Embrace it.  No more guard rails on the mountain trails, no more safety nets.

         I also want to commend the Deseret News which condemned the Republican Presidential nominee in October 2016,  and also the Salt Lake Tribune, for not editorializing  against Prostitution.  No opposition is now approval.  If we don’t complain, we approve.  And Utah is not going to require licenses or permits either.  I do believe sex fees will be subject to sales tax, but then again maybe not. Taxes are a burden on commerce, and we must be careful.  All of these taxes can be directed to education.

Liza Winner of 8 Academy Awards

The musical Cabaret was a Broadway hit for Joel Gray, who joked the ladies in the band might lose their battle to stay cool  by shedding their clothes in the heat of the Cabaret. Maybe a sequel could be named UtAbaret.  Hollywood sometimes glamorizes prostitution, although its reputation indicates nothing of the sort.


         I want to address the need to ‘cleanup’ deviancy statutes after the US Supreme Court has legalized the underlying deviancy.  In the 19th century, dozens of states had laws on slavery, both for and against.  The Supreme Court took up the issue and in the Dred Scott case ruled Scott a slave. If the states had adopted this, – cleaned up – their anti-slave laws, the dreadful Civil War could have been avoided.  States later adopted laws of segregation, which were approved by the Supreme Court in Plessey versus Ferguson. Plessey sat in the ‘white’ car on the Railroad line in Louisiana. Again, if the states had cleaned up –repealed – their discrimination laws in accord with the Supreme Court, much turmoil and contention would have been avoided.  So cleanup is good? Well, maybe not so much.

Canada Postage Dawson gold rush 45 cents.


         I suppose since adultery and sodomy are no longer crimes, are indecent exposure laws still in force?  Perhaps it is like picking your nose in public,  disgusting but not worthy of the force of law to restrict nose picking and eating it in public.  I wonder where public anti-spitting laws are on the continuum.

         I thank the chair for the time, and yield to the floor for discussion.

The Chair. You are welcome Senator Flatulence. Next business, the chair recognizes, let’s see.

         [The DesNews reported HB40 was approved by unanimous vote in the House, the Senate approved, and Signed by the Governor, on or about 26 March 2019].

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