Wednesday, January 23, 2019
Confrontation with Naive Americans
We’re going to let the visuals carry most of the load today, owing to
the extraordinarily stupid nature of this whole darn story. It begins
with some Catholic kids visiting Washington DC to learn how our national
capital works. And boy, did they!
The most credible of the many versions floating around is that a group of kids from Covington Catholic High School suffered extensive verbal abuse from protesters in Washington (including from some black protesters calling a black Covington student a “nigger” and screaming that his white friends would someday “steal your organs”) then, as long as everyone else was making noise, they asked their school chaperone if they could shout out a few innocent school cheers.
Into this mess steps a tom-tom thumping Native American (and long-term liberal activist) who marches up into the face of a MAGA-hat wearing kid who…(trigger warning: this gets pretty damn graphic!)…smiles back at the man. Oh, the humanity!
Seriously, that’s all that happened. But it was plenty enough to send the news services and social media (but we repeat ourselves) into paroxysms of outrage. Theoretically, the “smirking” young Trump lover somehow dissed the Native American Drummer Boy…causing the world to go nuts.
Some social media loudmouths called for a school shooter to massacre the students at Covington Catholic High School (and indeed, the school had to be closed yesterday as police encircled the building)
A Saturday Night Live writer offered to fellate anyone who punched the innocent Catholic kid in the face. We’re pretty sure that making such an offer is an overt criminal act (maybe two or three of them), but does
give us a pretty good idea of the skill set that (ahem) “writers” bring
to SNL auditions, resulting in absolutely humorless shows.
And because the drum-thumping Native American claims that some kids were chanting “build the wall” (which, in hindsight, a lot of Native Americans probably wish they’d done around 1491), the news incorporated that angle into the story too…
It’s true! A Republican legislator from Arizona came up with the idea of charging people $20 each to unlock porn filters on their phones, and then using the money to build the wall. And frankly, it’s not the worst idea that we’ve heard. No, that would have to be this one…
|See what we did there?|
Wading face-first into this sticky controversy, Stormy “For Two Bucks I’ll Throw in a Handi-Wipe” Daniels said that an electrified wall should be built around the Covington Catholic school to keep
“disgusting punks” who believe in making America great again and the
sanctity of life from interacting with decent people like lying,
contract-breaking, dollar bill-grabbing, sperm bank “night deposit”
sluts and their crooked sleaze-ball attorneys.
And because Stormy is still considered a Progressive feminist heroine by women whose highest aspiration is apparently to somehow become a sex object used for the sick pleasure of anyone with a sawbuck (ie, a writer for “Saturday Night Live”), her opinion would have carried a lot of weight…had the dimwitted “flavor of the month” not alsohad something apocalyptic to say:
In the distinctive words of Ms. Dysplasia-Vortex, “Millenials and people
in Gen Z and all these folks that come after us are looking up and
we’re, like, the world is gonna end in 12 years if don’t address
climate change! Your biggest issue [editor’s note – she’s referring to
actual grown-ups], your biggest issue is how are (we) going to pay for
it? – and, like, this is the war! This is our World War II! And I think younger people looking at this are more, like, how are we saying let’s take it easy when the end person died from our cruel and unjust criminal justice system?!”
Okay, we’re not positive her statement categorically proves that the world is coming to an end in 12 years, but it sure as hell suggests that the electoral system which put her in Congress is officially on life support.
Taken together, there’s a lot to think about when connecting all of the stories above. And since those on the Left aren’t particularly gifted when it comes to “thinking,” we’re going to helpfully boil all of this down to a simple truism:
You progressives have no chance of beating President Donald Trump in 2020 until you can demonstrate that your whole damn party isn’t at least marginally more sane than he is. At the moment, that’s not looking likely to happen.
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