Frankly, we don’t know what’s going to happen tonight at the initial Trump vs Clinton debate, but we expect it to be as cataclysmic as the incident pictured above, albeit with potentially fewer survivors (politically, at least).

Hillary Clinton’s campaign has cleverly been planting so many stories about her ill health in the media that it’s likely many viewers will pay no attention whatsoever to her strident yammering, and will instead spend their time watching for her to cough up blood, drop like a bag of hammers from her elevated podium, have a seizure of some kind, or have one runaway eyeball bouncing around her eye socket like a billiard ball while the other gives her standard death glare directly at the camera.

Trump, of course, is a complete wild card. Despite certain opinions to the contrary, Hope n’ Change believes that Trump came in dead last in every single Republican primary debate – but nobody cared because they liked hearing him shout that his opponents were liars, JFK assassination conspirators, or had tiny d…s.  None of which is easy to do when you’re flapping your arms and speaking through duck lips.

That being said, Trump has been somewhat more circumspect on the campaign trail lately, and he’s surely being advised to present this more dignified persona during the debate. And since Hope n’ Change is supporting Trump as the most “not Hillary” candidate still in the race, we think that’s a good idea.

But…

…in our heart of hearts, we’re really hoping he’ll go “full Donald” on Hillary for the entire 90 minutes. We want to see that wretched woman transfixed with horror as he reels off her long, long litany of sins, scandals, failures and felonies. Benghazi! Vince Foster! Character assassination and intimidation of Bill’s “bimbos!” Influence peddling! Calling Americans “irredeemable” and “deplorables!”

Let’s hear about her suspicious investing in cattle futures! The firing of the White House travel office staff! The Hillarycare debacle! Imaginary Bosnian sniper fire! The blue (or was it blew?) dress and the “vast Right Wing conspiracy!” Clinton Family Foundation tax fraud! Donations from murderous foreign powers! Convenient brain damage when under oath! Trafficking in watered down AIDS drugs for Africans! High-dollar secret speeches for bankers! Revealing classified information through gross and deliberate negligence! A record of 100% failure as Secretary of State! Lying to the FBI, the DOJ, Congress, and everyone else she’s ever met!

We do not, however, think The Donald should lower himself by making ugly references to Hillary’s bizarre clothing, wicked witch cackle, or the possibility that Chelsea is Webb Hubbell’s love child.

That job belongs to those of us in journalism.

BONUS: WORLD’S MOST ANNOYING VOICE

And her belief that no one should be allowed to work without union membership is pretty friggin’ annoying, too…