Check your privilege at the entrance. Thank you. Management.
In the spirit of current developments regarding all kinds of privileges, the People’s Cube Management is introducing new rules:
Upon entering, every comrade must check his, her, or its privilege at the Privilege Check Room. You will always be able to claim it back upon exit. All you have to do is submit the following paperwork:
- filled-out Privilege Survey (Guilt Quiz)
- detailed ethnic analysis from Ancestry DNA
- proof that you have self-identified with your current gender for at least 6 months prior to submission
- proof of original gender you were born into (be prepared for visual inspection)
- proof that you were in possession of claimed privilege prior to checking (a notarized written statement, three references from Party members in good standing, and photographic evidence if any)
- proof of degree from a Party-approved educational establishment
- proof of income
- proof of address
- proof of Party affiliation
- a government-issued ID
- claim ticket bearing a clear stamp and signature of your interviewing officer
All submissions must be filled out in #4 red pencil and #2 plain pencil, in triplicate. The paperwork not filled out with proper pencils in required areas will not be accepted.
These are the rules. Everybody should know them before entering, so don’t complain you didn’t know them when you are denied your checked privilege. Comrades who examine the rules more thoroughly than others and use them to their advantage will be able to obtain additional privileges that formerly belonged to those comrades who neglected to read the rules. This is fair game because these are the rules, we are making them known, and it’s your responsibility to read them.
If you’re in a hurry, we encourage you to use our Self-Service Privilege Check. In that case, be prepared never to see your privilege again. All lost and/or unclaimed privileges will be distributed among our more needy comrades.
Any remaining lost and/or unclaimed privileges will be placed for sale at our Pre-Owned Privileges Counter (to the left of the Privilege Check Room). If you fail to get back your previously checked privilege, you can later purchase it (or similar items) according to our sliding scale. The proceeds will be used to pay for the Privilege Check Room and Pre-Owned Privileges Counter maintenance, with the remainder going to support the international “Check Your Privilege” movement at home and overseas.
Our friendly Privilege Checker, Melissa, will be happy to assist you to each according to your need.
Management
P.S. Click here to prepare for your Privilege Survey (Guilt Quiz)
Biff Henderson
Comrade Stierlitz
Ivan the Stakhanovets
Shall I, my family, my pets, and all dead relatives and friends vote for:
the White (-1) Woman (+1)
the White (-1) Male (-2) Socialist (+3)
the High-spanic (+2) Male (-1) Kanadian-born (-1) Texan (+1) with a birth certificate (-1)
or the White (-1) Male (-1) Kapitalist Robber-baron (-2) who helps fund the Clinton Foundation (+4)
A most equal conundrum…
Genosse Dummkopf
Here is a friend of mine : Peshawar-born of Byelorussian Mormon ancestry, a totally, like, Tasmanian-Black bisexual* Jew, with a shot of Eskimo blood ( via uncle, an avid Arctic-explorer ).
* bisexual : in the faunic realm, that is – if you see what I mean.
It’s truly gut-wrenching, to see his fight™ for identity & his longing for belonging™… and also his struggle™ to nail down his Korrekt Kategorization in the class/race/etc. N-dimensional privilege™ galimatias.
Anybody here – Kubist Kollektiv Komrades – see a progressive, modern ( it’s the 21st™ century here, right ?, as Kommunist Kerry benevolently admonishes the unwashed ) solution™ for that conundrum, an N-dimensional chess game ?
Dedhedvedev
http://www.military.com/daily-news/2013 … r-act.html
“President Obama on Monday signed into law the latest version of the Stolen Valor Act, which makes it a federal crime for people to pass themselves off as war heroes by wearing medals they didn’t rightfully earn.”
Will there also be a Stolen Privilege Act? Is Affirmative Action a privilege? “Trans-Black Rachel” Dolzal is writing a book.
http://www.breitbart.com/tech/2016/04/1 … -identity/
Do Blacks that “act White” do it to acquire White privilege? If so, what motivates Whites that act Black? This can get complicated.
Red Square
– See more at: http://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog/check-your-privilege-at-the-entrance-thank-you-management-t17876.html#sthash.9Ndo9aoU.dpuf
This article is republished with permission from our friend Oleg Atbashian at The People’s Cube.
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Sure is empty down here...