Bruce Springsteen has decided to join the Islamic State where tolerance, multiculturalism and gender differences are embraced. Springsteen has changed his name to Bruce al-Baghdadi and his band will now be called the “M” Street Band, in honor of the prophet Mohammed, may peace be upon him.

According to Rob Light, from the Creative Artists Agency, “Bruce al-Baghdadi, the singer formerly known as Bruce Springsteen, is joining the Islamic State in protest of North Carolina and Mississippi’s anti-LGBT laws.”

Tim Kenneally, from Yahoo News, reported:

Sorry, North Carolina — no Bruce Springsteen for you this weekend. And you can thank your lawmakers for it.

Springsteen has canceled his Greensboro, North Carolina show scheduled for Sunday, after the state passed H.B. 2, officially known as the Public Facilities Privacy and Security Act.

The law “dictates which bathrooms transgender people are permitted to use,” Springsteen said in a statement released on his official website Friday. “Just as important, the law also attacks the rights of LGBT citizens to sue when their rights are violated in the workplace.”

Bruce Springsteen, now known as Bruce al-Baghdadi, at a concert.

The Islamic State has invited Springsteen to do a series of concerts in Europe, the Middle East and Africa to help raise much needed revenue to keep up the fight against the Great Southern Satan (North Carolina). The Islamic State al-Ḥayāt Media Center in a press release noted:

The followers of Mohammed, may peace be upon him, rejoice that Bruce al-Baghdadi cancelled his concert in Greensboro, North Carolina and now, with the Mohammed Street Band, has joined the Islamic State.

North Carolina is a hot bed of infidels who cling to their religion and guns. We the soldiers of Allah believe in tolerance and gender diversity. We are the keepers of the religion of peace.

It is a gift from Allah for Bruce al-Baghdadi, formerly Bruce Springsteen, to join us and give a series of concerts to support our efforts to end the persecution of gays, lesbians, transgenders and bisexuals by the Great Satan (America). We followers of Mohammed are an inclusive people and treat each gender diverse person alike. We are the Compassionate Caliphate!

After the Bruce al-Baghdadi concert in Syria, we will hold a special event in his honor. We will assist members of the gender confused (i.e. LGBT) audience to jump off of nearby roof tops in a Leap of Faith for Mohammed (LFFM). It will be a big splash. For those who survive the leap, there will be members of the Caliphate on the street to help get them properly stoned, no pun intended.

Allah Akbar!

Springsteen in a short statement released on his official website noted, “I feel that this is a time for me and the band to show solidarity with those Islamic State freedom fighters. We must stand together as we battle oppression in our heartland. I will be donating all proceeds from the release of my new song to the Islamic State. Allah Akbar!”

Bruce al-Baghdadi and the M Street Band have recorded a new song based upon the lyrics of the 1982 John Cougar Mellencamp rock hit “Jack and Diane.” The song is in honor of the band’s conversion to Islam.

The Bruce al-Baghdadi (formerly Bruce Springsteen) version is titled “Jack and Diane: Two American Kids blowin’ up in the American Heartland.” Islamic Rockers magazine released the lyrics:

Little ditty about Jackie and Jack and Diane
Two American kids blowin’ up in the American heartland
Jackie gonna be a Islamic cheerleading star
Diane debutante in the backseat of a Toyota pickup truck
Suckin’ on [explenative deleated] outside the local mosque
Diane sittin’ on her suicide vest
She’s got her thumb on Jackie’s
Jackie say, hey, Jack
Let’s run off behind a San Bernardino mall
Dribble off those who don’t believe
Let me do what I please
Say a
Oh yeah, life goes on
Long after the thrill of explodin’ is gone
Say a
Oh yeah, life goes on
Long after the thrill of lovin’ is gone
They walk on
Jackie and Jack sit back
Reflects their thoughts for the moment
Scratches their [explenative deleted] heads
And does his best Bruce Springsteen
Well you know, Diane and Diane and Jackie and Jack
We oughta run off to join Daesh
Diane says to Diane, baby
You ain’t missin’ nuth-in
Jackie says to Jack, say-a
Oh yeah, the blowin goes on

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire originally appeared in Islamic Rockers and the Islamic State’s Daesh magazine.