Monday, October 22, 2018

Branching Out

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The story itself is tragic: a harmless 72-year-old man in India was innocently collecting a few pieces of dried wood when enraged monkeys in a nearby treetop started pelting him with actual brickssadly with deadly accuracy. The old gentleman died of multiple head and chest injuries, quite possibly with a look of horror on his face that this time more than monkey flop was being flung.

While it might not immediately seem that there is much for us to learn from this incident, other than that monkeys should have to go through background checks and a waiting period before getting their wiry little hands on bricks, we actually think the incident has strong parallels to what is currently happening in our own country.

Specifically, this angry mob of monkeys puts us in mind of the angry mobs of Leftists who are getting increasingly vocal, aggressive, and confrontational in streets, restaurants, and government buildings. Although fortunately, being basement dwellers, most Antifa types have no tree-climbing skills, and lack the upper body strength to actually lift a brick – let alone throw it farther than the toe of their Doc Martens.

Consider this: in India, the monkeys are considered sacred and are coddled for their entire worthless lives. Any mischief they get up to, apparently including murder, is quickly forgiven. Besides, how can you tell one monkey from another? Meanwhile in the United States, the Leftists promoting street violence are also products of privilege, raised with neither discipline nor a sense of responsibility. Like the monkeys, they gather in mobs and take efforts to make sure that they all look so much alike that no one can tell them apart.

Then there are the more obvious comparisons, the first of which is that both murderous monkey mobs and Antifa protesters are little assholes who want to raise Hell just for the fun of it, with no ability to actually communicate intelligibly what it is they actually want (other than mayhem). Another is that both groups choose victims who are essentially helpless; as a case in point, just look at the Antifa protester in Portland, Oregon who told a widow that her deceased husband, a police officer killed in the 9/11 attacks, was a “sodomizer” who should “rot in the grave.”

Remarkably, this little feces-flinger’s attitude changed completely when confronted by an actual alpha male – the widow’s son. He turned tail and ran, shamed in front of the other anarchy monkeys, and thus unlikely to ever get an opportunity to breed.

There are surely other similarities between the simians and the simpletons, but we don’t have enough Jane Goodall in us to bother sorting it all out. Suffice it to say that the potential danger from both kinds of pests will only diminish when people decide they’ve had enough.

BONUS: STRANGE BEDFELLOWS

Later today, Donald Trump will be appearing in Houston, Texas to campaign for Ted Cruz, who is in a pitched senatorial battle with Democrat “Beto” O’Rourke – a full blooded Irishman who identifies as being Hispanic. Cruz is still enjoying a lead in the polls, despite unprecedented millions of dollars flowing into O’Rourke’s campaign from sources outside Texas (and none of which sources want anything good to happen to Texas).

So it’s a fine thing that Trump will be leading another pep rally, but we can’t help but wonder if the atmosphere might be a little strained backstage, considering the brutal attacks Trump and Cruz exchanged when running for President. And in case you’ve forgotten, here’s a little reminder from the vault…

“Dignity. Always dignity.”