POOR ME
A magazine dedicated to people who see themselves as victims.
Get a free lifetime subscription today courtesy of the Democratic Party and the federal gov’t!

IN THIS ISSUE:
· What, Me Responsible?
· Making Victimhood Pay Off
· Tricks for Turning Dislike Into Hate
· Making Your Behavior Immaterial
· It’s the Society’s Fault!
· Blame Your Parents? We can Help!
· Top 10 ways to get even

Is everything sexist? Ask an expert!
The Next Big Thing: Microaggressions

EXCLUSIVE: Bryce Williams, 41, laments about his lack of sex and reminisces about his days as a $2,000-a-night gay prostitute.

Special thanks to Comrade Dedhedvedev for the idea.

I made another version of the logo, but it probably looks better when shown separately.

Thank you for great comments, comrades – I wish I had thought of that!

On the other hand, this is only the first issue of the Poor Me Magazine. The next issue may include…

• Dead Broke Hillary centerfold
• A whine tasting report
• Experts answer the readers’ questions:

• Is everything racist?
• Is everything homophobic?
• Is everything Islamophobic?
• Are we all going to die from Global Warming?

Two articles by traumatized victims of sexist microagression:

1. “He stared into my eyes in a blatant act of mantimidation!”
2. “He marginalized me by refusing to make eye contact!”

50 Things That Don’t Offend You…But Should

Racism: How to Find It Everywhere

Put Away Your Wallet! How to Make Other People Pay for Whatever You Want

Your Body, Your Choice, Someone Else’s Expense

50 Things You Never Knew You Wanted…But Should Be Demanding From the Government

Top Ten States for Filing Lawsuits

Common Sense: Never a Substitute for Warning Labels!

Spread the Misery with Social Media

From Victimhood to Absolute Moral Authority: How to Parlay One into the Other

50 Things That Could Keep You Off the Streets…But Won’t

• No ifs ands or buts, 5 foolproof methods to shift the scent away from ourselves
• How to eloquently blame people who don’t speak English
• Your mother makes meatloaf again, is she trying to kill you
• Taking revenge without lifting a finger
• Using others to destroy your enemies
• Linux sucks and I was forced to use it – Help is on the way
• Vacationing in The Bahamas with pride
• Give up on love? Inflatable animals as lovers
• Why does everyone else get better gifts than you – Is there any way to stop this
• Money does buy happiness: Why your relatives lie to you and how to benefit from it

Poor Me Magazine shipped in a plain brown sack with victim theme song

Poor me packaging with free victim theme song inside

Like any magazine, POOR ME also has recurring features. Whenever some Progressive movement is in danger of moving to the back burner in the minds of the masses, or in danger of funding cuts by Republicans, whether it’s Global Warming or Occupy, etc., it’s time to spotlight them in the feature, “Can This Issue Be Saved?”

And then there’s “Scapegoat of the Month.” Each issue of POOR ME will feature a profile of something or someone else to blame for why you’re such a loser a victim. These include Republicans, climate change, oil companies, banks, talk radio, reality TV, Wal-Mart, gender specific signs/labels, organized religion, private ownership, lack of access to free stuff, guns, etc.