Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, which means a lot of people will be peppering their conversation with words like Avast and Matey, wearing ARR-gyle socks to ARR-bys for lunch, and telling jokes with punchlines like “It was me first day with the hook.”

However, we think the real punchline is the revelation that the Clinton Family Foundation is practicing Act Like a Pirate Day every day! Specifically, IRS documents reveal that in the most recent year for which they have records (2014), the Foundation sent only 5.7% of its $91.3 million budget to the charitable causes which they’ve claimed are their primary reason for existing.

The non-profit (and untaxed) Foundation spent nearly 7 times that much on their own salaries, compensation, and what must be truly kick-ass benefits. And yet another $50 million on vaguely named “other expenses” which would normally be a red flag (if not an actually Jolly Roger) when spotted by the IRS.

Still, neither the IRS, DOJ, nor FBI has any real plans to investigate the Clinton Family Foundation for running an obvious charity fraud while peddling American influence to nasty overseas players.

But then again, we’re pretty sure that “IRS,” “DOJ,” and “FBI” are all subcategories under “Other Expenses” for the Clinton Crime Family Foundation.

Speaking of which…

And Webb Hubbell’s good looks!

No, but seriously…

29 people were hurt (thankfully, none killed) when a bomb detonated in the Chelsea neighborhood of New York. A second device, unexploded, was found a short distance away. And pipe bombs which exploded in New Jersey are thought to be related.

At the time of this writing, very little is known about who is responsible (unless the surviving Tsarnaev brother was out of jail on a weekend pass)…but it’s a pretty safe bet who will be irresponsible for the umpteenth time. And yes, we’re looking at you, Obama.

If the culprit(s) turn out to have an ideology that Barry can use to make political hay, we’ll be hearing a lot about this story. If, on the other hand, there’s no political value for Obama (or worse, facts which contradict his ongoing narrative) we’re pretty sure this story will be dropped from the news cycles faster than you can say San Bernardino.

This article is republished with permission from our friend Stilton Jarlsberg at Hope n’Change